Amar is a veteran from the Bosnian war. He was kind enough to share his story from the 1992-1996 siege of Sarajevo. It was a privilege to hear his experiences and perspectives and gave me an important history lesson.

Back then, the capital was surrounded by the Yugoslav People’s Army, and subsequently, the Army of Republika Srpska. He was 19 when he was asked to join the military. Some refused and others reluctantly accepted. For him, he willingly answered “yes”.

I asked him if he was terrified and/or afraid for his life. And he felt neither. Or at least, the feelings went away immediately.

In his books, life goes on. Or it had to.

He recalled the telephone lines were down. But he had to see his girlfriend. They would agree on a time and a place, and make a handshake on a schedule.

One instance, a couple of explosives went off an hour before they were supposed to meet. The incident occured near their meeting point.

The attacks seem to have stopped after a few minutes. And thinking the commotions of the day have passed, Amar went ahead as planned.

While he showed up, his girlfriend didn’t. Given what happened an hour before, he wasn’t surprised.

A few days later, he’d find her. And when he asked her why she didn’t show up, all she had to say was… “Are you crazy?”

And he wasn’t isolated in his thinking.

His parents were divorced. And both of them decided to stay in Sarajevo. The place was their hometown and they couldn’t imagine living elsewhere.

Although not ideal, there was an escape route. It was the Sajarevo Tunnel that the Bosniaks have ingeniously dug. But even passing through it was never an option.

Amar knew that. He went in and out of the city a couple of times but only to bring in supplies. His mother requested an excessive amount of alcohol once. Although forbidden, he brought them in and his mother made a quick buck.

There are many things I would assume to be true in these situations. Or tales I’d never imagine.

But asking and listening, when people are willing and comfortable to share their stories, can make a big difference to my assumption of how the world operates.

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For places I visited in Sarajevo, you can visit this link.

The trip to Sarajevo happened on March 2023.