“No man is an island.” “Happiness is only real when shared.” While these quotes are nice, they were my obstacles. I used to be averse to the idea of solo traveling.

Synchronising calendars, interests, circumstances, and finances with another person is a nightmare. And at times, the stars will align. But until they do, I would not want to put my passion on hold. I used to… and that led me to never getting around to doing things that made me happy.

I just book a trip. 95% of my plans start this way. And half the time, I end up having friends join me. But for the times I’m on my own, I survive. To be more accurate, I thrive.

The world has billions of people. Chances are… I will meet some of them in my journey.

Here are 5 ways I’m never lonely when I go on a solo travel:

1. Remember being alone makes it easy for others to approach you

I find it difficult to talk to a stranger. Make that a group of people and the task becomes even more daunting. 

My endless negative thoughts take over. “Am I being rude by injecting myself in their quality time?” “Do they even want me to join in on their conversations?” “What if I end up getting rejected again?” These go through my mind. Likely, they are shared by a majority of us in this world.

So by having less people in the mix decreases the barriers. I find it easier to walk up to a person. Or I get approached more often.

Sure, that triggers some of my paranoia. There’s this mentality I have of people trying to take advantage of me and my situation. Maybe, there is a criminal posing as a friendly local or a lost tourist. But 99% of that fear is unfounded. 

2. Circumstances force me to talk to people, even when I don’t want to

Taking pictures, finding directions, getting extreme amounts of salt off my eyes – they can be done alone. But trust me, with collective effort, the results are better.

And feeling guilty for getting help shouldn’t be a concern. Some of these things require reciprocation (e.g. I take your picture so you can take mine). And most travellers, including myself, have been helped and experience kindness in their journeys. So, I just pay it forward. 

These gestures guarantees that bits of interaction creep in my day. And usually, that’s enough. On some occasions, they lead to drinks, friendships or perhaps a travel buddy.

3. Eating or drinking alone often means sharing spaces

I’ve been seated with solo and group travellers, on small and long tables, multiple times, at dining halls and restaurants. The kitchen bar is also filled with people who are alone. And the bartender also gets bored.

The added bonus in going solo is that I’m relatively easy to squeeze in even without a reservation. For businesses, the more space they utilise, the more money they make. It’s a win-win.

In the instances I share a space with a stranger or two, finishing an entire course or a jug of beer without uttering a word, is AWKWARD. Having a discussion, no matter how meaningful or meaningless, is inevitable.

4. Nothing makes me feel more isolated than being in a group doing activities I don’t enjoy

Sometimes, what helps my mind when it experiences loneliness, is thinking about the alternative. Would I enjoy not traveling and partaking in activities that I have no interest in?

The answer is usually a resounding “no”. So, putting things into perspective helps. 

But what if I have a change of heart? Given how connected the world has become, everyone is a Whatsapp message or a call away. And if necessary, I can just cut a trip short. Though I do not recall ever having to.

5. Some choices demand mingling to make the price cost-effective

Taking a tour, riding a helicopter, going up on a hot air balloon, sailing in a boat – the fixed baseline cost is simply too high. Spreading out the spend makes economical sense. And while some solo travellers prefer to be alone and independent, most of them are also on a budget.

Operators of these activities often pool people together – individuals and groups alike. Generally, no one will shell out the entire amount on their own.

I’ve ended up with the noisiest and the whackiest bit. And all of them give me a story that helped me grow and understand the world a little better.

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